dear lucifer
by Vesperum
Summary: I cannot compete with something as painstakingly glorious as you / for your beauty surpasses the ephemeral pain of the infectious reign - an alternate look to how Father came into existence, in seven parts. seven of seven posted.
1. just burning balls of hydrogen

01 – just burning balls of hydrogen

He was a scientist. Everything in the known universe could be explained by some way of means or another. That was the simplicity of him.

Also, in a sense, it was his downfall.


	2. phoenix

02 – phoenix

His obsession to know everything started out small, nothing that his wife and children couldn't tolerate. After all, beggars couldn't be choosers.

But, progressively, it got worse. Knowledge began to take precedence over the daily needs of life, and soon enough, he began to look more like a _corpse_ than a _person_ striving for _Truth_.

Sometimes, his wife wondered if she even knew the man that would hardly sleep in their bed anymore. It was like the knowledge has _changed_ him, _constructed_ him into this _new_ man, unapproachable, untouchable, unreachable.

It was like a new person, a new _being_ had risen from the ashes of his predecessor's death.

And maybe that was the honest truth, his wife mused one night, firelight flickering upon her fine-lined face.


	3. goodbad

03 – good/bad

He had read somewhere that there were seven deadly sins. Lust; Envy; Gluttony; Greed; Wrath; Sloth; Pride.

There were theories that if you strove to rise above those emotions and feelings, then you would be _pure_, you would be _holy_.

Of course, you couldn't physically remove those emotions. You'd have to cut into your head, something he was not willing to do, not just yet, anyway. Transmutation was the other option, slightly less painful, he believed.

In time, it would happen. For the moment, test subjects were his only options.


	4. human ethics

04 – human ethics

He chanced across some children one day. They were playing by the lake behind his house, and it was only their squeals that alerted him to their existence at all.

_Ah_.


	5. hush now little one, don't say a word

05 – hush now little one, don't say a word

Their screams were so loud. So very, very _loud_.

At some points during the process, he was tempted to slice their throats, to make them _just shut up_. But then that would mean he would lose two important sacrifices. He wouldn't do that. He couldn't. He was researching a new field of alchemy, he was a pioneer. He would go down in the history books. A _god_ in his own right.

Anyway, killing them would turn the transmutation taboo: he wasn't that blinded by the want to know that he would do something resulting in his death. He was far too precious to the world - one day; soon - they would recognize his greatness.

But one thing did bother him. What was a _papa_? The children kept screaming that at him, like he should know what it meant.

He'd have to look in the dictionary when this was all over.


	6. the lord is waiting to take your hand

06 – the lord is waiting to take your hand

The children were too weak, in the end. He had tried to take their essence, their very _souls_ from their bodies, but they resisted, and the transmutation rebounded.

Using sedatives when you were already halfway through the process didn't work. Would they work if you did it before you began the transmutation? That would have to be for next time.

There was something wrong with the arrangement of the circle, too. It didn't work, like his theories had predicted they would. _Luna_ had been juxtaposed by _Sol Solis_ and _Quinque Theorices_had been constant throughout but -

Had he drawn something where it wasn't meant to be? There was an error somewhere - there _must_ be.

Mathematics had rules and laws and so did alchemy but then –

You never got anywhere being righteous. The old Philosopher's never paid attention to when they flouted a theorem or stood on the Earth which rotated the _Sol Solis_, not the other way around.

He glanced to where his wife (words like those lost all significance and sunk like the small weights that had disappeared into the depths of the lake behind his house) was lying, bound and eyes glassy.

_A life for a life. Equivalent Exchange. _

_bend break subvert change alter modify vary deviate pervert corrupt turn _

_become_

* * *

_in omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro -__** Thomas à Kempis**_

* * *

_luna_ - moon

_sol solis -_ sun

_quinque theorices - _the five theories

_in omnibus_ - everywhere I have searched for peace and nowhere found it, except in a corner with a book


	7. hades's little pomegrante

07 – hades's little pomegrante

_Who am I? Why, I am the World, the Destiny, the Red Thread, your God and divine deity. I am everyone and no-one, but most importantly...I'm you._

"I am myself," replied the Scientist.

_Yes, of course you are. But you want more. And nobody is more than themselves._

"I seek knowledge," said the Scientist.

_Knowledge you will receive. Did you know you sent me over four thousand years worth of payment? Very clever, incorporating the village. Most people pay with maybe fifty years. Pitiful._

"I thought Equivalent Exchange applied," responded the Scientist.

_Oh, it does, but you can only comprehend so much life, human. This is why you mortals are akin to shooting stars – burning for only as long as you can take it._

"I want my part of the deal," stated the Scientist.

_Then take it. The doors are right there. I will be interested in how you fare with that much knowledge. Other humans have expired with less._

"I am not a human," declared the Scientist. "You are me."

_Yes, I am._

"And now I am you."

* * *

_dear lucifer,_

_I cannot compete with something as painstakingly glorious as you / for your beauty surpasses the ephemeral pain of the infectious reign_

_there was a time I do recall_

_I felt pride at last / I thank you for it / I thank you for showing me_

– Laura Breidenthal (dear lucifer)


End file.
